Teacher First

It is hard to believe that I am finished with my third week of student teaching. It seems as though I just started and, at the same time, that I have been doing this forever.

One thing in particular stands out at me as I reflect on my week.

To give some context. I have four English 10 Honors classes and one English 11 class. My little tenth graders are adorable and attentive and care about what I have to teach. My eleventh grade class is from something not found in the heavens. When I observed this class, I had fun with the kids. But as soon as I transitioned into the role of the teacher, I was not taken seriously. I was just the person from the back of the class that came to the front and tried to take over. They did not take me seriously. And I was at a loss. Beside yelling, how was I supposed to make these kids listen to me?

After this traumatic period, I rushed off to my sweet little tenth graders who were nothing but angels for me. I had time during their period to reflect on my previous and I realized that I cannot be super fun with my eleventh graders as I am with my tenth. My attitude in my eleventh grade class needs to be more stern. I cannot be their friend first, which I think I was trying to do. I need to be their teacher. After all, that is what I am here for.

Fast forward a couple days later when I have them again. I prepped myself by getting into a more stern mood. Even though they were taking a standardized test, they still acted better towards me. I felt more in control and felt that they gave me more of their attention. I know this is something I will have to work with a lot with this class, but I feel as if now I am going in the right direction.

This has been a whirlwind of a week for me. I will be honest and say that I was very emotional. Going into this week, I felt prepared. But after the first day, with my eleventh graders, I felt a huge rush of stress. I think I have been carrying this stress for a while, but it just did not manifest until this week. It was a little shocking and I am still recovering. With that being said, I feel good about next week and my lesson plans, so that is comforting.

I just have to keep in perspective that I am still learning. I am not a perfect teacher and I do not know everything, that is why I am here. I need to rely on my thick skin and become more humble to everything that I can be taught during my time here.

But, I am hopeful!